What is Attachment?

Research carried out for many years and in many cultures, adult relationships in approximately 35-40% of people revealed that they felt unsafe. While a greater amount, 60-65% feeling secure, loving and satisfied that their relationship is alive and well.

One source of credibility in our romantic relationships depends on the bond with our parents. From the day we were born we turned to parents for everything, starting with even the nutrients available in the Mother while in the Womb. We call it attachment figures.

When our attachment figures react the way to meet our needs to our distress, we feel comfortable and supported, we learn, our problems can be reduced and confidence in our attachment figure grows in stressful times.

For some type of parents, It will be hard to respond their child's distress. By being not providing the right support. Sometimes they don’t recognize their child’s distress. Sometimes they recognize it but they focus on How the distress makes them feel.[1]

What are the types of attachment styles?

Secure : When you are confident in all regards of attachment figures and dependents.Have positive thoughts about themselves and the other person. They have high selfesteem. It sees the other person as accessible and supportive. They can form strong bonds with the other and remain independent at the same time.

Dismissive : You don’t pay heed to those who wish to change your attachment style and dismiss them.

Their opinions about themselves are positive and their views about the other party are negative. Others observed the rejectionist attitude. Autonomy of the person is at the forefront for that person. The attached object is inaccessible and irresponsible to them. They avoid close relationships and refuse to be attached. In this way, they reduce the probability of being abandoned and abandoned by them.

Anxious : Actively unsure of your attachment figures. This boils over and can become a spiral starting with Dismissive. They have a positive opinion about themselves, negative for the other person. They see themselves as worthless and unworthy of love. They pay too much attention to the approval and opinions of others. They want to get closer to people, but they lack self-confidence.Fears of rejection are dominant.they tend to prove themselves, are obsessed with relationships, and have unrealistic expectations.

Fearful : When you are scared or have been hurt in some way by your attachment figures. It is the opposite of secure attachment. These people are seen as individuals who do not deserve to be loved and value themselves, they have the perception that they would be unreliable and rejecting others.  Although people in attachment styles are approved, they wanted to be accepted They shall refrain from building closer relationships because of fear of rejection and fear.[2]

Can attachment style change over time?

Yes, depending on how each party engages in the relationship and what type of relationship it actually is... attachment style can change. The 4 types of Attachment styles can each cause stress depending on the person. Becoming comfortable in attachment styles from each figure is important to our growth as a human.

Research shows that it is difficult to connect the change in the old style, our relationship with our pre-existing beliefs about life events and experiences related to our resisting the binding style, the show can bring changes.

Marriage and common goals that reinforce the love and devotion to one another has been found to reduce the binding of insecurity development. However, seen as a threat to a person's relationship or connection loss events (such as the rejection of partners) can increase the insecurity of attachment.[1]

How are our own attachment impacts of our relations?

Building and maintaining romantic relationships is one of the most important developmental tasks of adulthood. People constantly need someone else with the need for intimacy, and their relationships with these people affect their psychosocial development. According to attachment theorists, this need for a close relationship with someone else begins in the first months of life and continues to evolve and change in the following years. can be wife. In this context, considering the importance of individuals' secure attachment to people who are important to them in adulthood, as in all periods of life, it is thought that the determination of the variables that predict hope in romantic relationships serves the mental health of the community.


[1] Karantzas, G.  What is attachment and how does it affect our romantic relationship. The Conversation: https://theconversation.com/what-is-attachment-and-how-does-it-affect-our-relationships-120503

[2] Şipit, G. (2019). BONDING STYLES IN ADULT INDIVIDUALS. Dergipark.

[3] Elvan YILDIZ AKYOL, Ş. I. (2018). Hope in Romantic Relationships:. Dergipark.