We all have that boss who keeps giving an extra workload at the end of the day even though we want to go home. We have no choice and are forced to work overtime because we are afraid of losing our job. Disagreeing with someone is not a bad thing. In fact, saying no is more important than saying yes. This saves time, effort and relationships. Warren Buffet said, "The difference between successful people and very successful people is that very successful people say no to almost everything."
Saying ‘no’ is harder than simply saying yes. Because when you are saying yes, you are merely agreeing with the other party and resonating with them. On the other hand, saying no means you are not going to resonate with them, and your opinion on the subject is different than the other party. This may lead to certain difficulties in professional and personal relationships. So learning to say no effectively is essential.
Even though it is hard to say no, it is a vital part of life. Giving yourself the time and attention you deserve is crucial. This promotes self-improvement and growth by enabling you to spend more time with yourself. You have to know your value and respect yourself. You have to go out of your comfort zone to see the broader picture of how saying no will help you.
Okay, enough of the chit-chat, how do we actually say no?
- Spit it out: Yes, you read it right, the shortest and the easiest way to say no is just saying it. If you can’t make up any excuses or reasons, just say it directly. Be selfish and make yourself comfortable.
- Sugarcoating: If you cannot say no directly, then add some compliment along the way. For example, if someone proposes you and you are not interested, then you can say, “thank you, you are a great friend and a nice companion, I wish we could move further but I can’t.”
- Give an excuse: Another way to say no is making an excuse. This way, you won’t make the other person feel bad as they will understand that you have something else in mind.
- Use confusion as your companion: If you are not sure how you would like to say no, then you can try this tactic. Just say something confusing so that the other party is confused. Make use of words like “I don’t know,” “I’m not sure,” “maybe.”
- Set boundaries on what to expect: Setting the bars on what to expect can help ease certain situations. This way, people will realize their role in a relationship and stay away from asking too much.
- Substitution: Sometimes, you will encounter situations when you cannot say no directly. In that scenario, it is a good idea to offer a substitute instead of saying no. For example: If your boss asks you to do something right now, you can tell him that you have more important things on hand right now and you can do it at a later time.
- Don’t give an explanation: At times, you will feel like explaining the reasons for saying no to validate yourself. But it is not the best practice for all scenarios. Sometimes firmly saying no and leaving is the right choice.
- Focus on yourself: Remind yourself what you could do with the extra time. Always remember, time is money, and everything has its price.
- Be unavailable: People may ask for a favor, and you may not want to do it. In that case, just ignore them. This is a subtle way you can say no without saying no.
After all, saying no comes down to personal preference. Some feel comfortable being direct, while others don't. Whatever your preference is, the only way to master the art of saying “no” is practice. Don’t forget the old saying, “Practice makes a man perfect.”
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